If you’re always wondering if your partner is cheating when you’re not around, you better break the jealousy cycle before it breaks your relationship apart. There’s nothing worse than finding that special someone in your life and wanting to be with them so much that you find yourself needing to know what she’s doing every minute you’re apart. In this case, however, absence does not make the heart grow stronger. Sex advice guides would say the kind of attachment you have with this person becomes an angry paranoia that only ends up keeping the two of you together for all the wrong reasons. An overprotective love affair isn’t a good way for anyone to start or keep a healthy relationship.
Jealousy rears its ugly head when your girl goes out with her friends and you constantly find yourself imagining that she’s getting into all sorts of infidelities and situations behind your back. This is mostly a problem of trust. And even though you might realize what you’re doing is wrong, you find that you just can’t break from the habit of not trusting her. This creates more insecurity and anxiety about the relationship staying together which keeps the negative cycle going.
When the two of you are out somewhere together your mind is almost always on what the other men in the room are thinking about your girl, rather than on any conversation you and she are having. This kind of obsessive jealousy and insecurity makes it very hard to have any sort of meaningful relationship with your girl.
Without trust, there really isn’t any solid relationship anyway. So you have to work on developing more trust between the two of you before the relationship can move ahead. You have to remember that your insecurities are to blame for these feelings of mistrust. There’s usually nothing going on except for the events playing out within your mind. These thoughts of her infidelity get worse the more you think about them and begin to eat away at you a little more every day.
Trying to make up for the bad feelings between you by saying that things will get better and buying expensive and frequent gifts to make up for your behavior, only ends up starting the jealousy cycle all over again. Trying to have your girl all to yourself will only have her friends and family resenting you. You start to make the relationship all about you and the time you get to spend with her. How can this be healthy for a two-way relationship?
Being selfish about how she spends her time isn’t going to bring the two of you closer. There’s going to be a steady build-up of resentment between the two of you that’s only going to get worse as other people begin to try and take away some of her time. You start to look at the relationship as a contest between you and everyone else for her time, with her caught in the middle as the prize.
But the good news is that there are many ways to get help and break the jealousy cycle. Sometimes it can be as easy as arranging to meet with a therapist a few times a month to help you find out why your insecurities are so strong. Many people who were in bad relationships in the past sometimes find themselves blaming themselves for every bad thing that happens in their life. This feeling of course carries over into any relationship that they fear is also falling apart. Jealousy is directly related to the level of insecurity that a man feels in himself. Wanting to hold onto the hard-won prize becomes an overwhelming part of his life that blocks out any view of a happy and healthy relationship at all.
It’s important to remember that no one is doomed to have unhealthy relationships if they want to change their life enough. There are many informative books and web sites that can offer exercises and information sessions to help you break the jealousy cycle and begin to live a better life with the girl of your dreams.